wichtig:connectives, conjunctions and adverbs.

so lautet die Aufgabe:
Another way to vary sentence structure is to link sentences with connectives (e.g. while. because, since), conjunctions (e.g. and, but) and adverbs (e.g. generally, meanwhile, fortunately).
Read the text below and decide how you can make it more interesting.

I went on holiday to Spain last year. I went to the beach a lot. It was very hot and sunny. I went to dinner with my parents and my sister every evening. One evening we were all having a good time. We went back to our rooms at about midnight. Suddenly, I discovered that I had left the key to the room I was sharing with my sister in the room. We couldn’t get in. We went into my parents’ room which was next door. We climbed onto the balcony outside our room. We had left a small window open. My sister is smaller than me. She had to climb in through the window. It was difficult. It was very dark. Then it was very light. The hotel manager was shining a torch at us. He said that he was going to call the police. We tried to explain. His German wasn’t very good and our Spanish wasn’t very good. We tried to convince him that we were the guests. He believed us. We went to bed 2 o’ clock. We were very tired.

so hab ich ihn gemacht, bin mir aber unsicher:
I went on holiday to Spain last year. I went to the beach a lot. Actually it was very hot and sunny. I went to dinner with my parents and my sister every evening. One evening we were all having a good time. We went back to our rooms at about midnight and I discovered that I had left the key to the room I was actually sharing with my sister, in the room. We couldn’t get in. We went into my parents’ room which was fortunately next to our door. We climbed onto the balcony outside our room. We had left a small window open. My sister is smaller than me, so she had to climb in through the window. Actually, it was pretty difficult and it was very dark. Then it was very light. The hotel manager was shining a torch at us and he said that he was going to call the police. We tried to explain our problem. His German wasn’t very good at all and our Spanish wasn’t very good too. We tried to convince him that we were the guests and he fortunately believed us. Later, we went to bed 2 o’ clock. We were very, very tired.

könnt ihr mir verbesserungsvorschläge geben?