Englisch referat korrektur?

Hallo ich bin erst seit heute angemeldet. Ich brauche nämlich hilfe. Ich muss an Montag ein Englisch referat vortragen. Und ich bräuchte umbeding eine Korrektur meines referates. Ich bin dankbar für jede hilfe!

Me

Hello,
My name is christina and i´m 15 years old. My presentation is about my holidays in italy. But first i´m going to talk about me and my family. I live with my mum and my stepfather. And i have one sister, she lives with her husband. I was born in Russia but when i was 3 years old we moved to Germany.
I´m going to the ..... school. i have a lot of friends there and i have an all best friend. Her name is Beate. My hobby´s are singin, dancing and listening to music. I love black music. My favourite artists are Trey songz and Chris Brown. But my favourite rapper is 2Pac.

Italy

Now i´m going to tell u about my holidays in italy.
When i was 10 years old, i´ve been to italy.
There i was with my family. We stood on a Camp site and we slept in a tent.
Only 1 km from us there was the sea. The water was a little bit cold and i saw a lots of jellyfishes in the water.
When i´ve touched a jellyfish my hand was burning. The weather was nice and very hot and the sand of the very great beach was very hot too. That´s why i couldn´t go to the sea without shoes.
There were very exciting activitis. For example there was a banana boat and a pirate ship. The pirate ship was only a small funny ship for kids. I´ve played a game with my sister. I´ve lost the game but my sister won. I´ve laughed all time on this ship because it was so funny. In the evening we´ve
At night when all was sleeping, i woke up and saw that the weather was very windy. Then i saw a lightning but i don´t heard a thunder. Because i was afraid from it, i tried to sleep again.
Then at the next day i saw that one underwear from me wasn´t there. I think it was flying away in the night.

Now i´d like to show you some pictures from the holidays.

Ich zeige dann anschließend noch Bilder. Das kann ich schon.

Lg sweetii

CoKe11

Statt:
listening to music
würde ich "hearing music "sagen.
mfg

CoKe11

Now i´m going to tell you something about my holidays in italy.
When i was 10 years old, i´ve already been in italy.
i was there with my family. We lived on a Camp site and we slept in a tent.
We were only 1km awy from sea. The water was quite cold and i saw a lot of jellyfishes.
When i touched a jellyfish my hand hurt very much. The weather was nice and very hot and the sand of the great beach was very hot, too. That´s why i couldn´t go to sea without shoes.
There were very exciting activitis. For example a banana boat and a pirate ship. The pirate ship only was a small funny ship for kids. I played a game with my sister. I lost the game and my sister won. I laughed all time on this ship because it was so funny. In the evening we (Da fehlt wohl was)
At night when everybody was sleeping, i woke up and saw that the weather was very windy. Then i saw a lightning but i didn´t heard the thunder. Since i was afraid of it, i tried to sleep again.
On the next day i saw that one of my underwears was missing. I think it flew away during the night.

Der erste Teil ist ganz gut, nur würde ich statt
an all best friend nur
"a best friend" sagen...

Hoffe ich hab alles gefunden und weiterhelfen können.
mfg
Viel Glück beim Vortragen

Sweetii

Dankeschön für die Korrektur. Wusste gar nicht das ich so schlecht im grammatikalischen bin ..^^

Aba hab da noch einen text auch über einen Urlaub. Nur zur sicherheit damit ich mich dann für das ein oder andere Entscheiden kann. Was mir besser liegt.

Könnte mir das jemand auch nochmal korrigieren?

Mallorca

Now i´m going to tell you something about my holidays in Mallorca.
When i was 11 years old, i´ve already been in Mallorca.
We flew by plane. That was the first flight for me.
Firstly i was very affraid from it but in the plane i calmed down. When we´ve arrived the island we went to a hotel. There we lived 10 days. Outside the hotel there was a big swimming pool. And near from it there was the sea.
The beach from the sea was very great and the weather was nice.
But i didn´t swam in the sea. I only swam in the swimming pool, it was cleaner.
After 2 days i met a girl. I had a lot of fun with her. But we had a problem because she was french and she couldn´t speak German. Although she can´t it we were friends. Then after 7 days she must went home. We´ve already changed our adresses. I was very sad when we went home but that were the best holidays for me.

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