Ersuche/bitte um Korrektur

  • Text meines Referates:

    Good morning ladies and gentlemen!
    My name is D. F. Today I am going to tell you about the book “Lord of the Flies”. My speech consists of three parts. The first part is about the author. The second part is about the leading characters and the third part is about the content of the book. My speech is going to take…minutes. If there are any questions, please ask me at the end of my speech.

    Let me now come to the first part of my speech.

    The author of the book is William Golding. He was born in Cornwall in 1911 and was educated at Marlborough Grammer School and at Brasenose College in Oxford. In 1934 his first book “poems” appeared. After joining the Royal Navy he worked as a teacher in Salisbury. “Lord of the Flies” was his first novel and was published in 1954. After he had given up teaching he wrote 12 more novels.
    William Golding was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1983. He died at his home in summer of 1993.

    That is all I have to say about the first part of my speech.

    Let me now come to the second part of my speech.
    Its about the leading characters. The main characters of the book are Ralph, Jack and Piggy.

    Ralph: is the chief of the group. He is responsible for the rescue and takes
    care of them. Ralph is the only one on the island who can call an assembly and blow the conch. He is very eager and helpful and tries everything to keep the
    group together.

    Jack: is the leader of the hunters. He isn’t very cooperative and team-minded. Jack is very jealous of Ralph, because he is the chief. He tries everything to impress him. Jack thinks that Ralph isn’t doing his job well. Hunting would be the most important thing for him.

    Piggy: Piggy is very corpulent and unathletic. His eyesight isn’t very good so he has to wear glasses. That are the reasons why everyone is picking him on. If Piggy wants to tell the group something, they ignore him or just say “shut up”.
    Jack often entices the group to make fun of Piggy.

    That is all I have to say about the second part of my speech.

    Let me now come to the third part of my speech.
    Its about the content of the book. The book is telling a story about a group of children who are on a lonely island without grown-ups. Their plane crashed into the sea and when they regained their consciousness they found themselves on an unknown island.
    At the beginning there are just Ralph and Piggy. They decide to blow a conch to see if there are any others on the island. Conch means the same like shell. Blowing the conch makes a loud whistling sound. It should be like a kind of signal. After Ralph had blown the conch some children came out of the jungle. At the end they were a group of 12 children, which was shared in two age-groups. The littluns and the biguns.
    The biguns are Jack, Ralph, Sam, Erich , Piggy, Maurice ,Roger and Simon.
    The littluns are Jonny, Bill, Percival, Henry and a boy who doesn,t know his name.
    After they had introduced themselves they decided who would be the chief of the group.
    The majority voted for Ralph. Jack was very unhappy, because he really wanted to be chief, so Ralph decided, that he would be the leader of the hunters. After they had made sure that they were on an island they started making rules. There are 2 important rules. If Ralph is blowing the conch, he is calling for a meeting so everyone has to come to the conch. If there is a meeting, only the person with the conch in his hands is allowed to speak. From that time on the conch was a kind of talisman for the group. On the next day, they were thinking about how they could advise a ship of them. They decided to climb up the mountain in the middle of the island and make a big fire up there. It would produce smoke and call attention on the island. Every day a group of three people had to go up the mountain to see if the fire was still burning. When they lit the fire for the first time, some burning trunks rolled down the mountain and inflamed a big area of jungle.
    Piggy got very angry and noticed that the boy who didn’t know his name wasn’t there.
    They looked for him on the whole island but they didn’t find him. The day before the boy was talking about a kind of beast, which he saw in the night. The whole group was shocked and tried as hard as they could to forget about the little boy. On the next day they started building shelters on the beach. Ralph was very angry because nobody was working except him and Simon so he went to the sea to relax a bit. Suddenly he saw the smoke of a ship in the distance. He began to shout and showed it the others on the beach. Then Ralph climbed up the mountain as fast as possible to see if the fire was still burning. The others followed him. When they reached the top the fire was out. It was too late. The ship didn’t noticed them and went by. Suddenly Jack appeared behind a tree. On that they he had to look after the fire. He looked very happy and showed Ralph the pig, which he had killed. Piggy and Ralph got very angry. Ralph asked him why he didn’t look after the fire and Piggy shouted that it was all Jacks fault. Jack got also very angry and punched Piggy into his stomach. His glasses fell onto the ground and one lens cracked. From that day on Piggy just had one working eye. In the evening they ate the pig and the hunters showed the rest of the group how they had killed it. Ralph wasn’t angry anymore. On the next day something strange happened. Sam and Erich had to look after the fire so they climbed up the mountain. When they came back there faces were full of scratches. They were totally scared and said that there was a beast up the mountain. Now everyone was sure that there was something in the jungle. The fire was now for a bunch of days out because nobody was brave enough to go up the mountain. Everyone was scared of the beast. Few days later Jack was blowing the conch. He had broken a rule. Only the chief was allowed to blow it. Jack said them that Ralph wasn’t doing his job well and that he wasn’t a good hunter. Then he asked them if they would want him as chief, but no hands were lifted. Jack got very angry and said that they would find him on the other side of the island. Ralph was shocked, but he was sure that he would come back. Over the day Maurice, Roger and Simon disappeared. They went to Jack except Simon. He went into the jungle to relax a bit. Jack was very happy to see them. They killed a pig and left its head in the jungle. It should be a present for the beast. Jack was so happy that he decided to make a party and invite the other group. Ralph wasn’t very enthused, but he visited the party. Jack showed them how they killed the pig. It looked like a dance. Meanwhile Simon went through the jungle and found the head of the pig. It was full of flies and looked like a black ball. Simon called it, Lord of the Flies. It spoke to him and said that it would be the beast and if he wouldn’t go now it must kill him. Simon got really mad. He ran out of the jungle and jumped into the circle of dancing hunters. The hunters got scared and stabbed him with their spears because they thought that he would be the beast. They couldn’t believe what they had done. They had killed Simon. The next few days Ralph s group built new shelters and made a big fire on the beach. One night Jacks group broke down their shelters and stole Piggy s glasses. Ralph got very angry so he went with Piggy, Sam and Erich to the other side of the island to talk with Jack. When they arrived, Jack commanded his group to arrest Sam and Erich. Then he ordered his hunters to roll a stone down the hill. The stone crashed into Piggy. He fell on his back and broke his neck. The hunters had killed again. Ralph couldn’t believe his eyes and ran back to the beach. Now Ralph was the only one on the island who wasn’t dead or in Jacks group. Alone he wasn’t able to survive so he crept to Jacks shelters to meet Sam and Erich. They said that he should go quickly because the others would look for him on the following day. They also said that they would kill him. Ralph got very scared and crept back into the jungle. He looked for the perfect hiding-place. If they would find him, he would be dead. Ralph couldn’t sleep the whole night. On the next day, he armed himself with a stick sharpened on both ends. He knew that they were already looking for him and that it could be his last day. The hunters were screaming loudly when they saw him. Ralph was running as fast as he was able to. The hunters inflamed the whole island with their burning spears. Ralph was sure that he would die. He ran towards the beach and fell onto the ground. The cries got louder and louder. Suddenly a man was standing in front of him. It was the captain of a ship. The smoke had called attention to the island. Few seconds later the hunters were standing behind Ralph. The man asked them some questions and brought them onto his ship. Finally Ralph survived and they got rescued.

    That is all I have to say about the third part of my speech.

    Now my speech has come to its end. Thank you very much for your attention. If there are any questions, please ask me now. I will be happy to answer them.

  • Ich habe jetzt keine Zeit mehr ;evt. mache ich heute Abend weiter. Ich rate dir ganz dringlich: Entschließe di ch für eine zeitform - du wechselst häufig zwischen Präsens und Präteritum. Schreribe alles im Präsens (bzw. das Vergangene dann im Perfekt).

    Diese dümmlichen "Schülersätze"

    Zitat

    That is all I have to say about the third part of my speech.

    musst du streichen.

    meine Korrektur fett = korrigiert/eingefügt /// [---] = gestrichen

    Flo

  • Zitat

    At the beginning there are just Ralph and Piggy. They decide to blow a conch to see if there are any others on the island. Conch means the same like shell. Blowing the conch makes a loud whistling sound. It should be like a kind of signal. After Ralph had blown the conch some children came out of the jungle. At the end they were a group of 12 children, which was divided in two age-groups , the littluns and the biguns.
    The biguns are Jack, Ralph, Sam, Erich , Piggy, Maurice ,Roger and Simon.
    The littluns are Jonny, Bill, Percival, Henry and a boy who doesn,t know his name.
    After they had introduced themselves they decided who will be the chief of the group.
    The majority voted for Ralph. Jack was very unhappy, because he really wanted to be chief, so Ralph decided that he would be the leader of the hunters. After they had made sure that they were on an island they started making rules. There are two important rules. When Ralph is blowing the conch, he is calling for a meeting so everyone has to come to the conch[---] At a meeting, only the person with the conch in his hands is allowed to speak. From that time on the conch was a kind of talisman for the group. On the next day, they think about how they couldmake a ship become aware of them. They decided to climb up the mountain in the middle of the island and make a big fire up there. It would produce smoke and call attention of the island. Every day a group of three people had to go up the mountain to see if the fire was still burning. When they lit the fire for the first time, some burning trunks rolled down the mountain and inflamed a big area of jungle.
    Piggy got very angry and noticed that the boy who didn’t know his name wasn’t there.

    korrigiere bitte: rot muss ins Präsens, blau ins Perfekt gesetzt werden

    Flo