Korrekturlesen bitte

Habe auf den letzten Drücker meine HA gemacht und hoffe, dass jemand kurz drüber fliegt. Ich komme mit den Zeiten sagen wir mehr als sehr schlecht klar,aber vielleicht gibt es den einen oder anderen Ratschlag trotz vieler Fehler.

it was serious to her. it was really, really serius to her" was my thirst thought. in the second, when she come the stairs under to me. i remember the last monday and my whole world went black. black like the dress i wear in this moment. a few days ago then i told her, that my dress for this evening will be red, she just pulled her face and say to me"oh dear, didnt you think, its a little bit to loud?" ok, may she speaks her mind? maybe, it it the truth, that it will be just a normal dinner and not an official event, but i just wanna to look good for this guy. she is my friend, she would avoid it to give me a bad advise. And so i bring the red dress on the place back and try on the simple black one. and so i stand in my black dress on this evening and she in the red one. countless one people around, me and my wish to forget the etiquette. But i doesnt lost myself and whistle fast "darling, you look genius!" she smiled to me on her best way. it is real damage, that the evening become so short for her. but who should know, that the little boy will throw a fish in her hair. and who should know, that it will cost just 5 $?

Würde mich sehr über verbesserungen freuen. Grüße aus Berlin und vielen Dank, wenn ihr mal einen Blick darauf werft.

Flo Vielen Dank, hast mir sehr geholfen.

Würde mich sehr freuen, wenn es noch einmal jemand überfleigen würde.

my thought was: "it is serious to her." I saw her, how she came to me, i have remembered last monday and my hole world went black. black was also the dress i weared inj this moment. last monday as i told her, that my dress for this eveningwould be red, she just pulled her face and said to me:"oh dear, didnt you think it is a little bit too loud?" "maybe its the truth, that it will be just a normal dinner and not an official event? but i just want to look good for the men i have met the last time there. she is my friend , she would avoid to give me bad advice." so i brought the red dress back to place and tryed on the simple one. and si i standed in my black dress tonight and she in her red one. countless peoplearound and my wish to forget the etiquette. but i didnt lost myself and whistled fast:"darling, you look genius." she smiled her best smile.
it is a pity that the evening became so short for her. but who would know, that the little boy would throw a fish in her hair? and who should know, that it would cost just 5 $ ?

"My English is under all pig?"

Dieses war eindeutig NICHT von mir!!!

Nein, kann ich nicht wissen. Da war jemand ganz lustig und hat sich als Gast unter meinem Namen angemeldet. Ich wollte nur, dass sich jemand meinen Text ansieht. War brav und habe ihn überarbeitet. Ich dachte dieses Forum wäre dazu da und nicht damit ich mir Sprüche anhöre. Ich habe niemanden gebeten die HA für mich zu machen, sondern nur zu korrigieren. Und bin auch für jegliche Kritik und Hilfe sehr dankbar.

Vielen herzlichen Dank! Habe mir die Fehler, auf die du mich hingewiesen hast, angesehen und auch verstanden.
Die restliche Korrekturarbeit überlasse ich meiner Lehrerin.
Viele Grüße an dich