Wer kann mein Text (ZP 2016) Korrektur lesen? :)

    Name: Tobias F. 27.03.2017
    3a) “Under 18 year-olds should be banned from social networks.”
    Comment on the statement from your point of view and include the following aspects:
    • reasons in favour of and against this statement
    •examples to support your arguments
    •what you do to keep safe on the internet

    Everyone knows that a lot of under 18-years-old have social network e.g. Facebook or Twitter. If you discuss the question whether under 18-year-olds should be banned from social networks or not, many people (especially adults) would say “Yes!”.

    However, in my view there are many positive arguments. I don’t say that Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat or Instagram are not dangerous. Especially, when you are young you often can’t asses if this what you are doing is right. There are many stories around the world like the one from Shannon. But there are also much more teens who are using it very effective. Furthermore, banning all accounts from Facebook isn’t the big conclusion. Social Networks open doors for you! Just to begin with a positive Argument… Imagine that you have friends or family from Canada or whatever. You have to opinions: Firstly, you have to write a letter or Secondly, you have to call him or her. Do you know what this cost? (A half-pound!). So in second thoughts isn’t Facebook that bad, huh? To name a second very important argument: Facebook was founded to be an online diary. And you don’t have to show it to anyone! You can choose what you share and more importantly to who!
    To always keep safe on social networks it is important to remember the following rules:

    1. Change your password every month! (It should be hard and not resembling to your dog’s name)
    2. Think twice about what you are sharing!
    3. Never start a chat with a stranger, if you don’t know if this is a family member ask your parents!
    4. Have a look on the time and don’t get addicted 

    All in all, we can say that social networks shouldn’t be banned for teenagers. We have to teach them how to be safe on social networks and the internet per se. If not this will lead inevitably to more of stories like the one from Shannon.

    Hier mal meine Korrekturen bzw. Formulierungsvorschläge (Sätze, die ich n icht übernommen habe, sind korrekt):

    • Especially, when you are young, you often can’t assess if this, what you are doing, is right.
    • There are many stories around the world like the Shannon story.
    • Social Networks open their doors for you!
    • Just to begin with a positive argument…
      [*You have two options (?): Either you have to write a letter or you have to call him or her. Do you know what this will cost? (A half-pound!).
    • So in second thoughts Facebook isn’t that bad, huh?
    • To name a second very important argument: Facebook was founded to be an online diary. And you don’t have to show it to anyone! You can choose what you share and more importantly to whom!
    • To always keep safe on social networks, it is important to remember the following rules:


    1. Change your password every month! (It should be quite difficult and not resembling to your dog’s name)
    2. Think twice about what you are sharing!
    3. Never start a chat with a stranger, if you don’t know, if this is a family member ask your parents!
    4. Have a look on the time you spend at your computer and don’t get addicted

    All in all, we can say that social networks shouldn’t be banned for teenagers. We have to teach them how to be safe on social networks and the internet per se. If not, this inevitably will lead to more of stories like the Shannon story.