Unequal world (Rede)

    Hallo liebes Forum,

    für Englisch sollten wir eine Rede schreiben und müssen die nun vortragen.
    Ich habe mir meine schon ganz oft durchgelesen, auch meine Mutter schon, aber ich weiß nicht ganz, ob die Grammatik so stimmt. Wäre nett, wenn mir jemand helfen würde.

    Unequal world
    Waht do you think: how many people survive on less than US $1 one day? It's over 1.Billion people who hasn't enough food or water. Did you know taht you can help without much work or much money?
    The problem is that we live in an unequal world! On the one hand, poor people hasn't enough money to live or survive. On the other hand the richest 20% of the worlds population consume 86% of its resources. And again the richer countries are the one's, using up more natural resources than they share. However, we know, each of us can reduce our negative impact on the planet and other people by thinking about how we can use resources. What we need, are strong laws that make companies, like the World Bank or other global bodies which finance projects, like oil pipelines and mines that aredangerous for the local water supplies, homes and lands, responsible for their impact on envirnoment and communities. The truth is that two thirds of world trade are controlled by just 500. big companies now and other global trade rules and the power of big businesses over governments are doing nothing, to make the life of worlds majority better. You can help by buying fairly traded products which puts money back into local communities. We are the "Friends of the Earth" and campaigning for global rules that protect our planet and give local communities a cance to trade free. We want to help our planet and make a better life for everyone. We don't want an unequal world, we want an equal world!
    Thanks for listening!

    Ich weiß nicht, ob das so gut ist.
    Würde mich aber über Tipps und Verbesserungsvorschläge sehr freuen.
    Vielen Dank und LG.

    Die fett markierten Stellen sind Rechtschreib-, Grammatik-, Vokabel- und Formulierungskorrekturen.

    Unequal world
    What do you think: how many people survive on less than US $1 one day? It's over 1 Billion people who haven't enough food or water. Did you know that you can help without much work or much money?
    The problem is that we live in an unequal world! On the one hand, poor people haven't enough money to live or survive. On the other hand the richest 20% of the world population consume 86% of its resources. And again the richer countries are the one's, using up more natural resources than they share.
    However, we know that each of us can reduce our negative impact on the planet and we can bring other people to reflect how to use resources.
    What we need, are strong laws that make companies, like the World Bank or other global corporate enterprises (globale Körperschaften?) which finance projects, like oil pipelines and mines that are dangerous for the local water supplies, homes and lands, responsible for their impact on environment and communities. The truth is that two thirds of world trade are controlled by just 500 big companies now and other global trade rules and the power of big businesses over governments do nothing, to make the life of world majority better. You can help by buying fairly traded products which puts money back into local communities. We are the "Friends of the Earth" and campaigning for global rules that protect our planet and give local communities a chance to trade free. We want to help our planet and make a better life for everyone. We don't want an unequal world, we want an equal world!
    Thanks for listening!

    Zitat

    Unequal world
    What do you think: how many people survive on less than US $1 A day? THEY ARE (1) over ONE billion people who haven't GOT (2)enough food or water. Did you know that you can help without much work or much money?
    The problem is that we live in an unequal world! On the one hand, poor people haven't GOT enough money to live or survive. On the other hand the richest 20% of the world population consume 86% of its resources. And again the richer countries are the ONES THAT USE up more natural resources than they share.
    However, we know that each of us can reduce our negative impact on the planet and we can MAKE (3) other people [---] reflect how to use resources.
    What we need, are strong laws that make companies responsible for their impact on the environment and communities (4); IN THIS RESPECT I THINK OF the World Bank or other global corporate enterprises (globale Körperschaften?) which finance projects like oil pipelines and mines that are dangerous for [---] local water supplies, homes and lands, . The truth is that two thirds of THE world trade are NOW controlled by just 500 big companies and other global trade rules and the power of big businesses over governments do nothing (5), to make the life of THE majority OF THE WORLD POPULATION better. You can help by buying FAIR (6)traded products which PUT money back into local communities. We are the "Friends of the Earth" and WE ARE campaigning for global rules that protect our planet and give local communities a chance to trade FREELY. We want to help our planet and make life BETTER for everyone. We don't want an unequal world, we want an equal world!
    Thanks for listening!

    die FETT/UNTERSTRICHENEN Wörter sind meine zusätzlichen Korrekturen; Das Wortungetüm von Satz (4) habe ich etwas in Richtung Verständlichkeit aufgelöst; der Satz (5) ist völlig unverständlich.

    zu 1): "people" hat im Engl. Pluralform
    2) have ist hier Vollverb; daher a) ...don't have... oder b) haven't got
    3) jmd zu etwas "bringen" = to make s.b. do s.th
    6) das Adj. "fair" hat (vgl. hard) zwei Adverbformen:
    a) Adv. fair = fair /gerecht; b) Adv. fairly = gerechterweise / ziemlich

    3 Mal editiert, zuletzt von Flo (9. März 2014 um 08:56)